Dear morning sicknesses, I don't know if anyone has passed on the message, but I am just days away from being 12 weeks. That means I am a little over a week away from ending my first trimester. You have been a guest in my presense for 8 weeks now, and I am sorry to say but you have out stayed your welcome. I appreciate you letting me know that the baby is healthy, but you are no longer welcome. Please stop showing up when I wake up, when I cook food, or when I am trying to wipe something down that is the SLIGHTEST bit grungy. The time has come, dear morning sickness, for you to find a new woman to share your gifts with. Please don't take it personal, sincerely, me p.s. Sorry for punctuation and spelling issues, thanks to you the computer makes me nauseus, so this was all done on my phone.

10 week ultrasound

This past Wednesday Alex and I had our first appointment with the OB practice that will see us through out this entire pregnancy. (I had a few cycle issues so we went through a fertility clinic to actually get pregnant, shoot me an email if you want all those details). Anyways, so we went in for our first appointment. They seem like a good practice, a little busy (we had to wait for an US room for 20 min), but all around good. First we talked with the doctor about the pregnancy so far, any concerns I have (I'm hyper mobile in my joints and am already having really bad left hip pain so that is a little worrisome to me how things will progress), health history, etc etc etc. When we finally got our US my eyes were glued on the screen. Alex kept saying that he was going to record this one (since we were bummed that we didn't record the heart beat the first time we saw it) but he didn't... no idea why. Too bad though, because we had another first at this appointment. I was staring at the screen not really able to figure anything out that I was looking at (we had just recently seen the episode of Friend's where Rachel is crying because she can't see the baby on the US picture.. that was how I was feeling). The Dr. pointed out, "here is the head.. and here are the arms" ok.. I was kind of seeing what she was pointing to, but the baby just looked like a teddy bear. No sooner did I say this out loud, it gave a BIG stretch and I could see everything head, body, arms, legs, and the tiny nubs of fingers and toes. I started crying again :) She tried to snap a picture while it was, "looking cute" but unfortunately /just/ missed it. Ah well

So here they are, the pics of my baby/octopus/teddy bear/monkey (and I will fully admit that I was a bit upset that it looked so teddy bear/monkey like so I googled 10week US pictures. I do NOT recommend that!!! I did see some US's that showed me that yes it was supposed to look abnormal, but I also found a ton of pictures from anti abortion websites, not exactly what you want to see when you're up with insomnia.. Ugh!)


Next appointment is in a month, Alex is bummed because he won't be able to make it (Marine stuff), but such is life.

Let's talk about food

Cravings.. or in my case aversions.

I started throwing up 3 days BEFORE I found out I was pregnant. We went to a seafood buffet (that we have since decided we are NEVER going back to ever again) and as soon as we got home that night I threw up my lunch. Actually it almost happened in a mall trash can, but I was able to hold back. We attributed it to bad food, and my predisposition for puking, and ignored it. For a week before that I couldn't get enough jalapenos. Coincidence? Probably, but I was eating those suckers every chance I got. Maybe it was my body's way of letting me stock up on the spicy flavors I loved before everything under the sun started giving me heart burn. The next few days after I found out I was pregnant was when the real puking began. At first Alex thought it was in my head, "You know you're pregnant, you know you're probably going to have morning sickness, so you're thinking yourself sick." So I started texting him a number every time it happened. #1 was inevitably when I was brushing my teeth every morning. #2 would usually be within an hour of me getting to school, and losing my breakfast. etc etc. one day I got up to 8 or 9, and three of those numbers were in suck quick succession that he realized that each in between I was only able to get to the bathroom door before I had to turn right back around. After that he realized it wasn't in my head. All of this started leading to some very odd food choices.

Safe foods:
Sourdough english muffin or sourdough toast: minimal butter, sprinkle of sugar, sprinkle of cinnamon. Would stay down 90% of the time
Yogurt: a God send. So long as it wasn't too sweet I could eat almost every flavor of yogurt. Since I was eating so little I switched to the full calorie non light yogurts (also artificial sugars have been rough on the stomach)
Saltines: I tried the crackers first thing in the morning thing, it didn't help with the nausea, but I could keep crackers down on a consistent basis.
Ginger snaps: same as saltines, didn't really help, but they stayed down most of the time.
Baked potato: honestly I usually threw up about half of it, but for some reason I didn't lose my taste for it. And for some reason I felt like I got SOMETHING from it, maybe because it was heavy and some of it stayed down.

Bad foods:
Eggs: Eggs actually caused my sister in law to call a "code round" on me a week before I found out I was pregnant. We had switched from farm fresh eggs to store bought (just wasn't making it to the farm as often) and I commented that since the switch my scrambled eggs in the morning didn't smell good anymore. That was when she knew I was pregnant. I can eat some boiled eggs, and one or two deviled eggs, but beyond that eggs are off limits. I can't even stand it when Alex cooks eggs.
Cheese: A week before I found out I was pregnant we went to Red Robin after a friend's baby shower. I ordered a cheese boca burger (meant to get garden burger, boca is NASTY) and remember thinking that if the cheese was melted it was going to be amazing, if it was just sweaty it was going to be gross. It was sweaty. After that the thought of melted/partially melted cheese is enough to send me running for the bathroom. I have been able to do cold grated cheese on a salad once (forgot to ask for no cheese) but beyond that, no thank you.
Most meats: I can, on occasion, do grilled chicken or steak but for the most part I haven't been wanting to eat much meat. I still do because I am dreadfully low on protein, but I usuallly wind up heating it up and then passing it off to Alex.
Almond milk: or it might just be chocolate almond milk, I'm not sure. On two occasions this sounded AMAZING. On two occasions I almost didn't make it to the restroom in time. I think I may have just drank it too quickly.
Anything carbonated: heartburn!!!
Water: I have started to master this one. Adding some lemon (a full capfull for my nalgenes, half a cap for a glass) a TON of ice and drinking it slow I can usually drink about half my daily amount of water. Not enough by far, but better than what I was doing in the beginning.
Most fried things: Alex made the awfulest smelling fried mushrooms the other day. He said they were amazing, I had to lock myself in the bedroom.
Most sweets: There will occasionally be an exception, and this is slowly backing off, but for, what felt like, the longest time, the thought of eating anything sweet turned me green.

Foods that have had temporary runs (aka they sounded good for a day or two, but have not really made their way back into regular rotation)
bacon, peanut butter, hot dogs/cheese dogs (nitrate nitrite free), guacamole, lime tostitos, cottage cheese, french toast, ice berg lettuce, fruit loops, ranch dressing (could not get enough of it. Still sounds pretty good but not to the extent before)


Now I am on a slightly more normal eating route. I don't know if the nausea is finally subsiding, but I have found that if I eat small meals every 2-3 hours I do much better. It is funny how foods go though. For example this morning waffles sounded amazing. It was a lazy morning and lazy morning screams waffles. We don't have waffles but I do have a waffle maker, Perfect. I did some googling and found a recipe for waffle batter that said it also worked well with whole wheat flour. Since we could always use more fiber I decided to use the whole wheat flour. But now it doesn't taste like waffles how I'm used to them, and I'm not interested. Lol. I know it's silly, and I am still slowly eating through it because I don't want to waste any. But it's just not the same.

So there you have it, whether you wanted it or not, a little insight into my brain and stomach.

Though right now I think I would do some pretty outrageous stuff for some apple juice. :)

Heaven help me I think I'm adicted to fluff

Now before you start thinking that that is perverse (or that I'm craving peanut butter and marshmallow goo), "fluff" is the slang term for cloth diapers. And I completely blame my addiction on my friend Marni (seriously she is my inspiration in cloth diapering, breast feeding, and toddler baby food making :) Check out her blog she is AWESOME). I'm only two months in and Alex laughs whenever I get on my computer and goes, "Doing more diaper research?" Hehe. Now I do know that I am exceptionally lucky to have a husband who is all for the idea of cloth diapers. I mean here are some stats:(I don't remember EXACTLY where I read these, but the numbers have been repeated multiple times)

• A baby in disposable diapers will create, on average, 1 ton of land fill trash in diapers alone. This was Alex's big selling point. While we don't live "super" green. We still try to recycle everything we can, he has a compost bin outside, and we do the little things like not using 1 time water bottles when we can help it, and using reusable grocery bags.
• Because of the amount of plastic used the diapers are estimated to take anywhere from 200-500 years to fully disintegrate (though we don't know for sure, since we haven't been using disposables that long)
• Disposables cost, on average, $2000 per child. Cloth diapers can range from $100 (plain covers and old fashioned flat diapers. Even cheaper if you re purpose old flannel sheets, receiving blankets, and t shirts) to $500 for the super fancy "Works just like a disposable but you don't throw it away" All in one's. AND you can more than likely use them again with your next kid! (provided that you're not too rough on them, but even if you can't it's still a better price). When you are done with kids you can also sell your cloth diapers on diaper swapper websites. Some people may find that gross, but remember, some soap, a little bleach (or some people say vinegar), some hot water, and some sunlight (nature's bleach) and they are good as new. Most used baby clothes have been puked, pooped, and peed on and we never think twice about it. Personally I haven't ordered any used diapers yet, but I have no problem with used baby clothes, I throw them through the wash two or three times and consider them good. Most polls that I have read have approximately 90-95% of people having no problem with it because of the steps you have to do to "strip" a diaper to make sure that is is not water repellent (several washes in the washing machine to get out any creams/oils or boiling on the stove. You have to do it with new or used diapers, but you should only have to do it once, maybe twice through the life of the diaper unless you have to use a diaper rash cream and choose not to use a disposable liner). Or just don't buy used, it's still cheaper all the way around. You can also try to win cloth diapers as well! Many cloth diapering blogs have fairly frequent give aways of different types/brands of cloth diapers that they have been asked to review. This could be a nice free way to test out a style you're not currently using. (Remember Marni? She has pretty regular give aways of all kinds. I even won a gift card to Victoria Secrets from her, seriously, go visit).
  
• Researchers are currently researching the correlation between disposables becoming very popular, and the surge in asthma. I'm not saying that one caused the other, but the time lines do go together, and no one knows the long term affect of that stay dry gel stuff anyways (we used it to make fake snow at the school I work at)
• Disposable diapers smell "chemically". Yes sometimes they smell like baby powder, but if you pick up the average diaper and just smell it, clean of course!, they smell like chemicals, not something I'd want near my bits and pieces.
• Never having to run out to the store in the middle of the night for a diaper!! Absolute WORST case scenario you have to run a load of laundry and wrap the baby up in a receiving blanket and perhaps a less than fresh cover (but the clean blanket is what is actually touching their parts)
• Less likely to cause diaper rash. Since the diapers breathe, even with water proof covers, babies are less prone to diaper rash. This was a HUGE seller for me. According to my mom I had such terrible dry skin that she had to take me to the hospital because she was worried. I'd love to give my babies a better shot.
• There are kids that are just as convenient as disposables. The all in one diapers have the absorbency built in! All you do is take it off, shake off any solids into the toilet, spray if necessary, and toss in a bucket to wait for wash day. If you don't want to deal with the solids, there are several companies that make biodegradable/flush able liners for the diapers as well. Just toss that in the toilet and all the poop is gone! And let's face it, if you have kids, at some point or another, you WILL have to wash poop out of something. (I've also read that Viva paper towels work really well for that too because they are so thick). Also TECHNICALLY most disposable diapers state on the package that you should put as much solid waste in the toilet as possible, since the sewage system is better equipped to handle feces than the landfill. (Can anyone say poop in the ground water?)
• These aren't your grandmother's disposables! While the pull on plastic pants are still available, the water proof covers are now a poly urethane laminate (PUL) which is VERY waterproof, and has some kind of cute fabric on the outside. Some kids (depending on the system you like) have flannel, cotton, or hemp on the inside layer (the layer that touches the baby) while others you wrap the baby in a separate cloth for absorbency and the liner itself can just be wiped out with a damp wash cloth and used again. Yes I know that PUL is a type of plastic, which goes back to all of the plastic related reasons against disposable diapers, but when you are talking about 8-20 re-usables -vs- thousands of disposables, you can forgive them for the plastic. However if you REALLY don't want to use plastic, wool is also an option! It is naturally water resistant, and dissipates heat really well (down side is that it is more expensive than the PUL ones, but still cheaper than disposables). You can also use polar fleece, the down side is that it is water repellent, not water resistant, so if it is super soaked and they sit down.... their clothes will be wet.
  
• Since the cloth of the diaper doesn't stay "dry" feeling like disposables do with their gel innards, cloth diapered babies, on average, potty train faster because they can "feel" wet. I have read that some moms purposefully use slightly less absorbent fabric towards the potty training years so that the child is able to put "wet" and "toilet" together. Also if they see you, or even help you, dump the solids in the toilet, they figure out that that is where poop goes.

Finally, they are SUPER cute. Here are some that I have already ordered (mostly Ebay, so I've spent very little so far).


Slightly masculine looking "fitted" diapers that will still need a cover. These can be closed with a diaper pin, a snappi (looks like a T with teeth on all the ends) or just wrapped snug and have the cover keep them closed. They were made by a work at home mom, and the price was amazing. I figure I'd rather have masculine stuff on a girl than feminine on a boy (I've owned more than my share of blue and trucks) also since these go under a cover, a girly girl could still have something super feminine on the cover if they wanted.


This is a cover that I am having made by another work at home mom. You would put one of the diapers above (or some old fashioned flats, I have some of those as well) inside for absorbency, this is just the waterproofing part, but man is it cute!! This one is also called a "one size" there are multiple snaps across the waist to adjust there, and snaps in the rise to make it taller. It might not last (size wise) until potty training, but there are always kids in between sizes in disposables as well.



These are both One Size All in Ones. As you can see it has the same snaps as the cover does (side note, some diapers have super strong Velcro called Aplix across the top instead of snaps, it's all a matter of personal preference. I plan on buying some Aplix ones as well, just haven't yet. I'm also talking to a woman who makes them with buttons like in kids clothes). Instead of having to put a separate diaper or flat inside for absorbency it has it all built in.
Pro: most like a disposable diaper, easier to get non cloth diapers to put on your kid. Fastest/easiest to get on a squirming kid, no need for pins or snappis.

Con: More expensive, takes longer to dry (PUL has to be air dried or line dried, the heat from the drier can damage the integrity of the waterproofing).



This is currently my favorite one. It is a Thirsties brand cover. Instead of being a one size (which usually are said to be too big for infants or two small for toddlers) it comes in two sizes (6-18 lbs and 18-40 lbs). They come in several cute prints and colors (aren't those birds ADORABLE) and snaps and Aplix. For covers they recommend you have between 6-8 if you want to do laundry every other day (since they have the PUL you can wipe out moisture, so they will last through several changings without having to toss them in the wash). For the average errands running trip you only need one backup cover and a few flats, saving room in the diaper bag (as opposed to AIOs which are bulky and cannot be reused without being washed). I plan on building my stash mainly with covers, and flats/pre folds (extra absorbency up the middle). I have found several patterns for pre folds and have every intention of making some (also plan on hitting up the thrift store for some flannel sheets and receiving blankets to make some nice warm/super absorbent ones since my little one is due in January). I even say a fitted cloth diaper (like picture #1) made out of a "Fat Tire" t-shirt, so it had the emblem on the hiney. So cute!! I do plan on getting a few different brands of covers, since what works for one person doesn't necessarily work the best for another. But this cover was only $12, so even if it isn't the best and I only use it for laundry day, it's not any worse than buying a different brand of disposables than you normally use, only to find out that they are terrible. (Though I have a sneaky suspicion I'm going to love my Thirsties).


And just because they are adorable, here are some other brands/patterns that I have my eye on




So there you are, a peek into my current obsession. For some people it's furniture, for others it's nursery colors, clothes, little socks, or blankets. For me, it is cloth diapers :)

So I'm having a baby...

Alex and I found out about three weeks ago, but we just had the first ultrasound today. Alex doesn't want me to post allllll of the nitty gritty details of the ordeal we went through to get to this point, but to summarize: It took 11 months and a little bit of medicine to get my cycles normal. Also I would not recommend Reproductive Science Center to anyone. But hey, I got my little octopus out of the ordeal, so it was all worth it. (If you really want to know the nitty gritty details shoot me an email or a phone call, he just doesn't want them up public)

Today I went for the ultrasound. After fighting a major backup on the freeway, and having the wrong appointment time written down (I was off by half an hour in my favor) we finally got to San Jose for my appointment. Up onto the table, and off with the pants. This was a wand ultrasound, so me and the doctor got very personal. First he was showing us the baby, and confirming that there was just one baby in there. Alex made him check a few times, since everyone has been wishing multiples on us. After that he turned on the video so that we could see the tiny heart beat. That was breath taking. I didn't know that something so small, it looked like a little blip on the screen, could completely steal your heart. I knew that they would be looking for the heart beat at this appointment, but everything I read said that you don't hear the heartbeat until after ten weeks. Well everything I read was wrong. As soon as he turned on the volume I was like, "Wait, we get to hear it too???" And he laughed and said, "Well if you stay still." And then I heard it. It sounded absolutely perfect. 150 BPM, perfect. I started crying, and laughing, and throwing off the machine :) Alex and I were both in shock and neither of us thought to take a video of the heart beat until I was putting my pants back on. I will DEFINITELY have to remember that for next time though.

Who knew something that is only a few weeks developed, the size of a blue berry, with flippers and a tail could utterly and completely steal your heart.