Monday, August 27, 2012

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First sat self up. First pulled self up on couch

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Before and After kids

So I have completely failed at updating this on any regular basis, oh well, I'll write about drinking instead :) Having a drink, before and after kids. So before having Button having a drink was simple. "I think I'd like a drink." go to cabinet or fridge, grab a glass of some sort (wash one if necessary) make and consume drink. DONE After kids: First you read about cake flavored vodka on a mommy blog. Hmm perhaps the local liqour store carries said vodka, that sounds pretty good. Next day go to the liquor store (with a sleeping seven month old in their car seat in the cart, mom of the year right here!) and go to the vodka aisle. Holy crap. They do in fact have cake flavored vodka (two different brands!), but also whipped cream, chocolate whipped cream, marshmallow, cookie dough, gummy candy, cotton candy, every fruit you can imagine,bacon, jalapeƱo, and probably some I can't remember. Now you have to call a relatively new mommy to ask if she knew about all of the new flavors, she does not, promise to report back on your findings, this is now a mission. Control yourself and choose two (cake and whipped cream), go to the checkout and realize that your husbands 1 bottle of whiskey costs double your two bottles of vodka (and tastes like whiskey! Ugh). So now alcohol, check. But there are some things that still have to be done before you can have that drink. First, wash all of the dishes and put the kitchen in order for the night. Feed the baby dinner. Get baby ready for bed. Put living room in order for the evening. Nurse the baby. Put the baby to bed. Pump(if necessary). Put the baby back to bed. Research recipes, you can only have one, maybe two so it is going to be good damn it! Get out martini glasses so the drink is perfect. Of course they're dirty, they haven't been used in at least a year and a half. Wash those. Put the baby back to sleep. Mix drink. Listen for baby. Listen. Listen. Have drink. Smile. Sure it may be more steps than it used to be, but you wouldn't trade it for the world.