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Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Brianna's first Valentine's day
(yes I know she makes goofy faces, give her a break she's only 6 weeks fine muscle control comes later)
Alex and I don't do a whole heck of a lot for Valentine's day. Usually we stay home and cook a nicer than normal dinner together. This year he had class, so we might do something this weekend (I have a class though so meh). We have been hoping to go out to the farm and take 1month pics of Brianna for a while now, but every day that we have set aside to do that, the weather has been blech! Set aside in the pile of clothes for our little momarazzi photo shoot were a couple of outfits for Valentine's day. Since I hadn't taken any pics of her in them yet, I decided to whip out the cell phone for posterity. She didn't wind up in them long, we got booby juice on the first one, and the second one was just way too big, but it was still cute to see her all dressed up for her first "holiday".
Our morning started at 530. Guess I kind of forgot that if I get her to fall asleep early, I should fall asleep early myself because that means she'll be up early. Woops!
When I was trying to take the picture at the beginning of this post Alex was reading the news on his phone. She has recently started to REALLY notice differences in light and was fascinated by his phone. She kept trying to flop herself over towards him to see.
After our 530 wake up we all fell asleep at 830 and didn't wake up again until 1030. Alex went off to feed the horses and baby girl and I had breakfast, and she was on to outfit #2!
The rest of the day was low key, eating, napping, eating, and napping. Eventually I took off the Love sleeper because it was just too big, she she finished the day in her fluffy blanket (you can't see it in any of the pictures but she rocked her Valentine's day diapers as well. Started with a red Diaper Rite pocket, then a purple Thirsties AIO, and the rest of the day was in flats and her pink Thirsties cover)
Sunday, January 22, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Welcome Ms. Brianna Ann Oberg
So she was actually born two and a half weeks ago, but this is the first time I've been able to attempt to write her birth story, we are both down with a cold right now, so we've been in bed all day. So let's back track...
Sometime around Christmas (slightly before) I started losing my plug, I'm not going to lie that part is kinda.. gooey. From that point on Alex was very much concerned with every twinge, groan, or funny face I made. I kept telling him that it could be weeks, but I don't think that he believed me. At my appointment before Christmas, and my appointment after I was 3 cm, ,before Christmas I was 50% after Christmas 80%. The after Christmas appointment bummed me out because I'd had some pretty bad contractions on Christmas night with back pain, I honestly thought we were going to wind up in the hospital that night, but when I lied down to get some rest, I fell asleep and they stopped at some point in the middle of the night. Anyways.... after my post Christmas appointment we were talking with the receptionist instead of making our appointment. Finally after she placed 3 calls on hold she said, "Let me just make something up, how about the 4th at 9?" I laughed said sure and we went on our merry way.
Fast forward to January 3
This was one of the few mornings I actually woke up to pee, that was somewhere around 6am. When I got up again later that morning I noticed that I was bleeding. Holy crap. I didn't want to get my hopes up since I was only 38 and 2, and my mom was voluntarily induced with both of us after 40. It did make me realize there were things I needed to get done before we had her. First, I took the car seat out of the box, we decided to figure out installation after we ran errands, Second, we went to Costco for cat ood and rolls for a work party I had the next day. Third, we went to the maternity store for some sleep bras for after she was born. I had some stuff to get at Target too, but we decided we'd go the next day. From there we went out to Ardenwood. We were running Goliath on the train that day and I was looking forward to seeing what he could do. I know Alex was apprehensive of me riding, Goliath broke harness in the past, but in the end he let me ride. (and as a side note, Goliath did really well all things considered).
After the farm we went to my mom's house. Dad had gone up to Oregon that morning (Grandpa had had rotator cuff surgery right before Christmas, also when I found out dad had left, I joked "oh great, so that means I'm going to have the baby tonight) so she'd invited us over to watch Dolphin Tale and have potato soup. Part way through the movie I started to have Braxton Hicks contractions again (a nightly occurence) and tried to let Alex know by squeezing his hand or leg whenever I had one, apparently he missed the hints. I kept an eye on the clock but they were coming sporatic and usually were more than 10 minutes apart so I wasn't really worried about it. The only thing that was causing me any second thought was that they definitely hurt more than they had in the past, but I figured she was just wedged into my spine again.
Part way through the movie Alex had to go feed the horses again. The contractions still hadn't stopped at this point, and were getting a little worse. I didn't want to tell my mom, and get her hopes up, when I was sure that it was just Braxton Hicks, so I did my best to keep my face neutral when I had them. Admittedly there was one where I excused myself and went to the rest room so she wouldn't see my face, the movie was over at this point and I couldn't count on her being distracted. This was when I started texting him
Me: 7:54 "Not going to lie, these contractions are no joke"
Alex: 8:00 "Baby?"
Me: 8:01 "You might have picked the right day" (as soon as we found out our due date, he said that she was going to be born on the 4th)
Me: 8:03 "But I really don't want to be here right now. Getting hard to keep them from mom"
Alex: 8:17 "Almost there"
Me: 8:19 "Ok. I need to get out of here"
He got to my parents house shortly after that and I want to say we were home no later than 8:30. From here the order of things gets pretty fuzzy. My stomach was very upset, so I know I was in the restroom a lot, I hadn't eaten much that day just the soup and some Cinnabon, but I figured it was something I had eaten the day before coming back to haunt me. I do remember that my back was hurting, a lot, so I thought that a nice hot bath would help since it had helped in the past when she was lodged in my spine. I do know that at this point Alex had my phone and was timing my contractions because they just hurt so much more than they had in the past. I do remember that the tub was filling during one of the contractions, when the contraction started the water that was running was hot, when it was finished the water was barely warm. I thought that it had only been 30 seconds (the washing machine was going as well and I figured we'd just over taxed the hot water heater), but in actuality it was a little over 2 minutes. So I layed back in the water and tried to relax, hoping that the back pain would calm down and I could go to sleep, but then out of no where during a contraction I was hit with a hot flash so bad I jumped up on my knees and leaned over the toilet trying to get as much of my body out of the hot water as possible, it felt like I was being burned. So much for the tub! So I climbed into bed and tried to get in a comfortable position but my back just was not letting me get comfy. Finally after a while I told Alex we should call the hospital. My contractions were still anywhere from 5-9 minutes apart, but they were lasting anywhere from 45 seconds to 2 minutes, and I was completely incapacitated when they hit. Of course the nurse wanted to talk to me instead of him, I can't remember much of that conversation but I do know that when a contraction hit I just threw the phone down on the bed and Alex had to let her know what was going on. It was also during this time on the bed that I had him get a wash cloth, wet it, and place it on me during the contractions, those hot flashes were no joke! At first I thought I wanted it on the back of my neck, but after a few I realized it felt so much better if he laid it across the small of my back and leaned on it, counter pressure to the pain. So the hospital told us to come in. I threw on a pair of work out pants and an old white tank top and we were on our way. While we were in the car I called my mom and let her know that we were going in, but told her, "Don't get your hopes up, they might not even keep me, I'm probably just being a baby." It was also on the way to the hospital that I started throwing up, thankfully we had thought ahead and brought a bucket (later on I was VERY glad I had my own bucket, they tried to give me one of those little emesis basins, and I know I would have missed. My bucket was big enough for my whole face, no missing). So we got to the ER, but I didn't want anyone staring at me in the waiting room, so I waited outside until the contraction passed. I then went to the window and started filling out the admissions paper work. I'm honestly curious what that looked like, I'm sure it's just chicken scratch. Half way through I had another contraction and Alex just stuck his head through the window and yelled, "I have a woman who needs to go to LD Now!" They took me back REAL quick. At this point we had none of our stuff, I made him leave it in the car, and only my mom knew we were at the hospital. I also was convinced we were going home as well. I mean what first time mom goes into labor almost 2 full weeks early? So they got us to our room and we waited for the nurse to come check me. This was 10:30 pm.
I refused to put the hospital gown on, so was just waiting in my tank top. When the nurse checked me I was 5. No going home for me! I was in shock. Alex wanted to go get our stuff, but I didn't want to be alone during the contractions so I didn't let him (we wound up not getting out stuff until 6am. By then I was wore out and beaten down, and so we didn't use any of it. In hindsight I wish I had tried the music, but by then I was just defeated and exhausted). So I had him text everyone we were supposed to let know I was in labor, and I did my best to keep comfortable.
I will admit, I was not a pleasant patient. First there was the refusing to put on a gown. Then I told the nurse that I would only let her start an IV if she could promise me that she would put it somewhere that wouldn't hurt when I moved my arm. I insisted on water and ice, even though I was puking. And I told the Dr I wanted to be put on intermittent monitoring. Thankfully I had a very nice nurse and she went with it. Now the next several hours are a blur. I would look up at the clock and realize how much time had gone by, and I kept thinking, "This has got to be over soon." I do remember that at midnight ish I was at 6. Awesome, still making progress. At 2am I was still at 6. Well damn. Ok. At 330 my mom texted Alex asking if we wanted her to come. I really didn't want anyone around except Alex at this point, she told him to please let her know when I hit 8, and she went to bed. At 6am they checked me again (I was feeling a lot of pressure, we have since figured out it was her being stuck) I was STILL at 6. We had been up approximately 22 hours. I had been in labor for 13 hours. We had been at the hospital for almost 8 hours. I couldn't move. Moving hurt more than the contractions. With the intermittent monitoring it was supposed to be 20 minutes on, 30 minutes off. But the toco wasn't catching my contractions, so they couldn't get a good reading, so I wound up with it on a lot longer. Also the straps of the monitors were crossing my back right where it hurt the most, so I was about ready to throw them across the room. And poor Alex was still putting that wash cloth on my back with every contraction. I had the AC on as high as it would go, everyone else was freezing and I just kept saying how hot I was. I was feeling pretty defeated at this point. Mom texted Alex and asked if it was time to come down yet, he said that I was still at 6, but could she please come anyways. I tried getting up out of bed, hoping that gravity would help pull her down, but when those contractions hit I all but crumpled to the floor from the back pain. I also hadnt been able to keep anything down, and was pretty dizzy ,so I asked if I could please be hooked up to fluids (before this point my IV was in, but not hooked up to anything). Shortly before my mom showed up I asked for IV meds (I had been very adament about wanting to go natural, and Alex was keeping me honest, but he knew me well enough to know that this time I was serious. It wasn't me whining, it was me genuinely needing a break from the constant back pain just to pull myself together). Mom came, got our stuff for us out of the car, and tagged Alex out so that he could rest for a little bit. She took over wash cloth duties and he took an hour nap. Thanks to the fentanyl I was able to take little 5 minute cat naps in between contractions as well. This is where things get fuzzy again.
The Dr. checked me at some point (maybe the 6am check?) I was 6 cm. I was considered "stalled" at this point. They weren't /that/ worried about me being stalled, except they that her heart rate was dropping from 160 to 106, but since the toco wasn't picking up contractions (at this point I wasn't wearing it at all, just the fetal heart rate monitor) they weren't sure when her rate was dropping, so they wanted to put in an internal contraction monitor. This would require breaking my water, which would hopefully jumpstart dilation as well. I was on board, so we did that. Since her heart rate was dropping so drastically, they didn't want my labor taking too terribly much longer, so they did forewarn me that if breaking my water didn't work we'd have to try pitocin, and that if it dropped any worse than it was then I'd be on the short list for an emergency C-section. At the time I was too tired to really process any of this. I remember thinking. "C-section? sure bring it on! Extra two weeks of leave, and this will all be over with" but I didn't say any of that. I did tell them that if I had to have pitocin, I wanted an epidural. I know that pitocin can make contractions worse, and I was barely holding my own through the natural ones, the back pain was no joke!
After my water was broken things started progressing really quickly. I was at 13 or 14 hours, and I was done. I asked for the epidural. Alex asked if I was sure, and I told him that I just couldn't keep hurting, and it felt like my spine was going to snap in two. I promised I wouldn't be mad at him, but I just couldn't do it anymore. So we called the nurse. She came with the Dr, I told her I wanted the epidural, but could I please have my last dose of fentanyl to tide me over until he made it. She gave me half of the dose, then the other half a few minutes later (they were making sure it didn't drop her heart rate), but it didn't touch the pain. The Dr. checked me, I think I was at 7 maybe 8, I can't remember, but at this point the contractions got BAD. They would come in waves of 3. The first one was the worst, it eventually got to the point where I was screaming whenever it hit. Mom tried to remind me that groaning was ok, but screaming was just going to make me tired, but groaning just wasn't cutting it. Alex has since told me that when those first ones would hit, the contraction monitor would go off the chart. The second contraction would hit, and while it would be really bad, compared to the first it was ok, then the third would hit and it was nothing at all (this third one would eventually dissappear altogether)
The anesthesiologist as in an emergency c-section. Dammit!
I don't know how much later it was, but I made them call the nurse again. She said that he would be in just as soon as he was out. I think this was when I yelled out, "How do you only have one anesthesiologist???" Ah well. The nurse checked me and told me that I was at 9 and a half, and an epidural was no longer an option, it was time to push. I said no. There was no way I could. I'd been up for 24 hours, I'd been in labor for 14. I was running on empty, I was in too much pain, and there was no way I had anything left in me to push out a human through my vagina. She basically said, tough and that I was going to do it because my baby needed me to. (Come to think of it I was on O2 at this point as well for her heart rate)
Well what can you say to that? So I got in position and we started pushing. After a bit she told me to stop so they could get the Dr in the room. I said hell no and just kept pushing through the contractions. I finally felt like I had some control, and it hurt way less to push than not to push. The Dr made it with plenty of time, Little Miss got hung up on my pelvic bone (I wish I could have used gravity to help but my back just wasn't having it. Several times they said, "Just a few more, she's almost out" the second time they said that my reply was, "That's what you said last time!!" This was when they had me reach down and touch her head to prove to me she really was RIGHT there. I don't know how much longer I pushed. I was still having my odd contractions where I'd have one big one (could get 4 pushes) followed by a smaller one (two pushes) and then a 5 minute break. It definitely was odd, but that initial push after the break was always a really good one. At the end of one of those contractions her head was out, they weren't expecting me to push anymore, but I was getting that baby OUT so I pushed without a contraction and on January 4th at 10:06am, my beautiful daughter entered the world.
They immediately put her skin to skin on me, and I was in absolute shock that I had helped make, and I brought into the world, something so absolutely perfect. I remember being worried because it felt like a long time before she cried, but I've been told it was just seconds. It just felt like forever to me. I was completely focused on her, but apparently at this point I started to hemorrhage. One nurse had my left arm down trying to get fluids and pitocin in me quickly so my uterus would firm up, one nurse was taking my bp, the Dr was looking for clots, and Alex got in my face and told me to keep talking to him, apparently I'd gone VERY white. They got me back to normal pretty quickly, did some stitches (10) and they were all done. I had my wonderful little 7lb 6 oz, 20 in long daughter, and I'd brought her into the world.
The rest of my stay was pretty uneventful, I was up and taking care of the two of us almost immediately and Alex and I went to discharge class that same night. My wonderful family brought us Olive Garden, and the next day helped Alex install the car seat (and jump our battery, mom had moved our car and left something on). Her bili was a little high but they let us take her home on the 5th (I could have stayed an extra day, but just wanted to go home). We had to go back for 3 more blood tests, but she is right as rain now.
I know she's only been in our lives for 2 weeks, but she is absolutely everything I could hope for in a baby. She is engaged with the world around her, has a sweet disposition, is mild tempered (this does not mean doesn't cry. Babies are SUPPOSED to cry, it's how they communicate, but she doesn't cry for no reason). This week we're dealing with our first cold, and even with that she's just such a happy baby. Some extra snuggles when shes a bit over tired, and she's good to go!
Fast forward to January 3
This was one of the few mornings I actually woke up to pee, that was somewhere around 6am. When I got up again later that morning I noticed that I was bleeding. Holy crap. I didn't want to get my hopes up since I was only 38 and 2, and my mom was voluntarily induced with both of us after 40. It did make me realize there were things I needed to get done before we had her. First, I took the car seat out of the box, we decided to figure out installation after we ran errands, Second, we went to Costco for cat ood and rolls for a work party I had the next day. Third, we went to the maternity store for some sleep bras for after she was born. I had some stuff to get at Target too, but we decided we'd go the next day. From there we went out to Ardenwood. We were running Goliath on the train that day and I was looking forward to seeing what he could do. I know Alex was apprehensive of me riding, Goliath broke harness in the past, but in the end he let me ride. (and as a side note, Goliath did really well all things considered).
After the farm we went to my mom's house. Dad had gone up to Oregon that morning (Grandpa had had rotator cuff surgery right before Christmas, also when I found out dad had left, I joked "oh great, so that means I'm going to have the baby tonight) so she'd invited us over to watch Dolphin Tale and have potato soup. Part way through the movie I started to have Braxton Hicks contractions again (a nightly occurence) and tried to let Alex know by squeezing his hand or leg whenever I had one, apparently he missed the hints. I kept an eye on the clock but they were coming sporatic and usually were more than 10 minutes apart so I wasn't really worried about it. The only thing that was causing me any second thought was that they definitely hurt more than they had in the past, but I figured she was just wedged into my spine again.
Part way through the movie Alex had to go feed the horses again. The contractions still hadn't stopped at this point, and were getting a little worse. I didn't want to tell my mom, and get her hopes up, when I was sure that it was just Braxton Hicks, so I did my best to keep my face neutral when I had them. Admittedly there was one where I excused myself and went to the rest room so she wouldn't see my face, the movie was over at this point and I couldn't count on her being distracted. This was when I started texting him
Me: 7:54 "Not going to lie, these contractions are no joke"
Alex: 8:00 "Baby?"
Me: 8:01 "You might have picked the right day" (as soon as we found out our due date, he said that she was going to be born on the 4th)
Me: 8:03 "But I really don't want to be here right now. Getting hard to keep them from mom"
Alex: 8:17 "Almost there"
Me: 8:19 "Ok. I need to get out of here"
He got to my parents house shortly after that and I want to say we were home no later than 8:30. From here the order of things gets pretty fuzzy. My stomach was very upset, so I know I was in the restroom a lot, I hadn't eaten much that day just the soup and some Cinnabon, but I figured it was something I had eaten the day before coming back to haunt me. I do remember that my back was hurting, a lot, so I thought that a nice hot bath would help since it had helped in the past when she was lodged in my spine. I do know that at this point Alex had my phone and was timing my contractions because they just hurt so much more than they had in the past. I do remember that the tub was filling during one of the contractions, when the contraction started the water that was running was hot, when it was finished the water was barely warm. I thought that it had only been 30 seconds (the washing machine was going as well and I figured we'd just over taxed the hot water heater), but in actuality it was a little over 2 minutes. So I layed back in the water and tried to relax, hoping that the back pain would calm down and I could go to sleep, but then out of no where during a contraction I was hit with a hot flash so bad I jumped up on my knees and leaned over the toilet trying to get as much of my body out of the hot water as possible, it felt like I was being burned. So much for the tub! So I climbed into bed and tried to get in a comfortable position but my back just was not letting me get comfy. Finally after a while I told Alex we should call the hospital. My contractions were still anywhere from 5-9 minutes apart, but they were lasting anywhere from 45 seconds to 2 minutes, and I was completely incapacitated when they hit. Of course the nurse wanted to talk to me instead of him, I can't remember much of that conversation but I do know that when a contraction hit I just threw the phone down on the bed and Alex had to let her know what was going on. It was also during this time on the bed that I had him get a wash cloth, wet it, and place it on me during the contractions, those hot flashes were no joke! At first I thought I wanted it on the back of my neck, but after a few I realized it felt so much better if he laid it across the small of my back and leaned on it, counter pressure to the pain. So the hospital told us to come in. I threw on a pair of work out pants and an old white tank top and we were on our way. While we were in the car I called my mom and let her know that we were going in, but told her, "Don't get your hopes up, they might not even keep me, I'm probably just being a baby." It was also on the way to the hospital that I started throwing up, thankfully we had thought ahead and brought a bucket (later on I was VERY glad I had my own bucket, they tried to give me one of those little emesis basins, and I know I would have missed. My bucket was big enough for my whole face, no missing). So we got to the ER, but I didn't want anyone staring at me in the waiting room, so I waited outside until the contraction passed. I then went to the window and started filling out the admissions paper work. I'm honestly curious what that looked like, I'm sure it's just chicken scratch. Half way through I had another contraction and Alex just stuck his head through the window and yelled, "I have a woman who needs to go to LD Now!" They took me back REAL quick. At this point we had none of our stuff, I made him leave it in the car, and only my mom knew we were at the hospital. I also was convinced we were going home as well. I mean what first time mom goes into labor almost 2 full weeks early? So they got us to our room and we waited for the nurse to come check me. This was 10:30 pm.
I refused to put the hospital gown on, so was just waiting in my tank top. When the nurse checked me I was 5. No going home for me! I was in shock. Alex wanted to go get our stuff, but I didn't want to be alone during the contractions so I didn't let him (we wound up not getting out stuff until 6am. By then I was wore out and beaten down, and so we didn't use any of it. In hindsight I wish I had tried the music, but by then I was just defeated and exhausted). So I had him text everyone we were supposed to let know I was in labor, and I did my best to keep comfortable.
I will admit, I was not a pleasant patient. First there was the refusing to put on a gown. Then I told the nurse that I would only let her start an IV if she could promise me that she would put it somewhere that wouldn't hurt when I moved my arm. I insisted on water and ice, even though I was puking. And I told the Dr I wanted to be put on intermittent monitoring. Thankfully I had a very nice nurse and she went with it. Now the next several hours are a blur. I would look up at the clock and realize how much time had gone by, and I kept thinking, "This has got to be over soon." I do remember that at midnight ish I was at 6. Awesome, still making progress. At 2am I was still at 6. Well damn. Ok. At 330 my mom texted Alex asking if we wanted her to come. I really didn't want anyone around except Alex at this point, she told him to please let her know when I hit 8, and she went to bed. At 6am they checked me again (I was feeling a lot of pressure, we have since figured out it was her being stuck) I was STILL at 6. We had been up approximately 22 hours. I had been in labor for 13 hours. We had been at the hospital for almost 8 hours. I couldn't move. Moving hurt more than the contractions. With the intermittent monitoring it was supposed to be 20 minutes on, 30 minutes off. But the toco wasn't catching my contractions, so they couldn't get a good reading, so I wound up with it on a lot longer. Also the straps of the monitors were crossing my back right where it hurt the most, so I was about ready to throw them across the room. And poor Alex was still putting that wash cloth on my back with every contraction. I had the AC on as high as it would go, everyone else was freezing and I just kept saying how hot I was. I was feeling pretty defeated at this point. Mom texted Alex and asked if it was time to come down yet, he said that I was still at 6, but could she please come anyways. I tried getting up out of bed, hoping that gravity would help pull her down, but when those contractions hit I all but crumpled to the floor from the back pain. I also hadnt been able to keep anything down, and was pretty dizzy ,so I asked if I could please be hooked up to fluids (before this point my IV was in, but not hooked up to anything). Shortly before my mom showed up I asked for IV meds (I had been very adament about wanting to go natural, and Alex was keeping me honest, but he knew me well enough to know that this time I was serious. It wasn't me whining, it was me genuinely needing a break from the constant back pain just to pull myself together). Mom came, got our stuff for us out of the car, and tagged Alex out so that he could rest for a little bit. She took over wash cloth duties and he took an hour nap. Thanks to the fentanyl I was able to take little 5 minute cat naps in between contractions as well. This is where things get fuzzy again.
The Dr. checked me at some point (maybe the 6am check?) I was 6 cm. I was considered "stalled" at this point. They weren't /that/ worried about me being stalled, except they that her heart rate was dropping from 160 to 106, but since the toco wasn't picking up contractions (at this point I wasn't wearing it at all, just the fetal heart rate monitor) they weren't sure when her rate was dropping, so they wanted to put in an internal contraction monitor. This would require breaking my water, which would hopefully jumpstart dilation as well. I was on board, so we did that. Since her heart rate was dropping so drastically, they didn't want my labor taking too terribly much longer, so they did forewarn me that if breaking my water didn't work we'd have to try pitocin, and that if it dropped any worse than it was then I'd be on the short list for an emergency C-section. At the time I was too tired to really process any of this. I remember thinking. "C-section? sure bring it on! Extra two weeks of leave, and this will all be over with" but I didn't say any of that. I did tell them that if I had to have pitocin, I wanted an epidural. I know that pitocin can make contractions worse, and I was barely holding my own through the natural ones, the back pain was no joke!
After my water was broken things started progressing really quickly. I was at 13 or 14 hours, and I was done. I asked for the epidural. Alex asked if I was sure, and I told him that I just couldn't keep hurting, and it felt like my spine was going to snap in two. I promised I wouldn't be mad at him, but I just couldn't do it anymore. So we called the nurse. She came with the Dr, I told her I wanted the epidural, but could I please have my last dose of fentanyl to tide me over until he made it. She gave me half of the dose, then the other half a few minutes later (they were making sure it didn't drop her heart rate), but it didn't touch the pain. The Dr. checked me, I think I was at 7 maybe 8, I can't remember, but at this point the contractions got BAD. They would come in waves of 3. The first one was the worst, it eventually got to the point where I was screaming whenever it hit. Mom tried to remind me that groaning was ok, but screaming was just going to make me tired, but groaning just wasn't cutting it. Alex has since told me that when those first ones would hit, the contraction monitor would go off the chart. The second contraction would hit, and while it would be really bad, compared to the first it was ok, then the third would hit and it was nothing at all (this third one would eventually dissappear altogether)
The anesthesiologist as in an emergency c-section. Dammit!
I don't know how much later it was, but I made them call the nurse again. She said that he would be in just as soon as he was out. I think this was when I yelled out, "How do you only have one anesthesiologist???" Ah well. The nurse checked me and told me that I was at 9 and a half, and an epidural was no longer an option, it was time to push. I said no. There was no way I could. I'd been up for 24 hours, I'd been in labor for 14. I was running on empty, I was in too much pain, and there was no way I had anything left in me to push out a human through my vagina. She basically said, tough and that I was going to do it because my baby needed me to. (Come to think of it I was on O2 at this point as well for her heart rate)
Well what can you say to that? So I got in position and we started pushing. After a bit she told me to stop so they could get the Dr in the room. I said hell no and just kept pushing through the contractions. I finally felt like I had some control, and it hurt way less to push than not to push. The Dr made it with plenty of time, Little Miss got hung up on my pelvic bone (I wish I could have used gravity to help but my back just wasn't having it. Several times they said, "Just a few more, she's almost out" the second time they said that my reply was, "That's what you said last time!!" This was when they had me reach down and touch her head to prove to me she really was RIGHT there. I don't know how much longer I pushed. I was still having my odd contractions where I'd have one big one (could get 4 pushes) followed by a smaller one (two pushes) and then a 5 minute break. It definitely was odd, but that initial push after the break was always a really good one. At the end of one of those contractions her head was out, they weren't expecting me to push anymore, but I was getting that baby OUT so I pushed without a contraction and on January 4th at 10:06am, my beautiful daughter entered the world.
They immediately put her skin to skin on me, and I was in absolute shock that I had helped make, and I brought into the world, something so absolutely perfect. I remember being worried because it felt like a long time before she cried, but I've been told it was just seconds. It just felt like forever to me. I was completely focused on her, but apparently at this point I started to hemorrhage. One nurse had my left arm down trying to get fluids and pitocin in me quickly so my uterus would firm up, one nurse was taking my bp, the Dr was looking for clots, and Alex got in my face and told me to keep talking to him, apparently I'd gone VERY white. They got me back to normal pretty quickly, did some stitches (10) and they were all done. I had my wonderful little 7lb 6 oz, 20 in long daughter, and I'd brought her into the world.
The rest of my stay was pretty uneventful, I was up and taking care of the two of us almost immediately and Alex and I went to discharge class that same night. My wonderful family brought us Olive Garden, and the next day helped Alex install the car seat (and jump our battery, mom had moved our car and left something on). Her bili was a little high but they let us take her home on the 5th (I could have stayed an extra day, but just wanted to go home). We had to go back for 3 more blood tests, but she is right as rain now.
I know she's only been in our lives for 2 weeks, but she is absolutely everything I could hope for in a baby. She is engaged with the world around her, has a sweet disposition, is mild tempered (this does not mean doesn't cry. Babies are SUPPOSED to cry, it's how they communicate, but she doesn't cry for no reason). This week we're dealing with our first cold, and even with that she's just such a happy baby. Some extra snuggles when shes a bit over tired, and she's good to go!
Friday, July 22, 2011
Oh dear Wheel Works....
So I have been posting a lot on Facebook lately about my ordeal with new tires. I thought that I would sit down and type the whole story out, so that anyone who is curious could see what all happened. A year ago last May Alex tells me we need new tires and that he is going to get them while I'm at work. I'm thinking they're a couple hundred dollars, tell him ok and off he goes. $512 later, there are new tires on the car (can you tell I have NO idea what car things cost?) He got 60,000 mile tires (so we wouldn't have to replace them in a while) and also got the alignment tested and adjusted. I was in a major case of sticker shock, but found out that that is just what tires cost. Fast forward to May of this year. We had been getting our oil changed wherever was convenient at the time, didn't have a line, and had a good price, and all of the places we'd gone to rotated the tires as well. This time we went to a place across the street that did the oil change cheaper than we'd found elsewhere, but didn't rotate the tires. No problem! Off to Wheel Works. Now I will admit that I have been checking the air in the tires, and filling them periodically, but I have been paying NO attention to the tread at all. I figure they have at least another year (since we were at 20k of the 60k) before I need to keep an eye on them. I also drove the car far more often than Alex, so he only gave them a cursory glance every once in a while. When he went to take the car in to get the tires rotated he actually looked at them and realized that they were in terrible condition. He talked to the guy at the counter, was told that he would get a pro-ration when we decided to get new tires (since they barely lasted 1/3 of their projected lifespan). While he was there they also did a complimentary alignment check to make sure that everything was ok there, and that that wasn't why the tires went to crap.
Fast forward to the current.
We both knew that tires were coming up soon for us, and thanks to a little unexpected windfall Alex told me that it was time to bite the bullet and get the tires. Unfortunately we found out about this little bit of extra cash RIGHT before he had to leave for 2 weeks to somewhere he has NO cell phone signal. It may sound old fashioned, but he takes car of the car stuff. I put air in the tires occasionally if they need it and I'm at the gas station, otherwise he did the oil changes, dealt with the repair shop when the spark coil went bad (though I was the one insisting that they take it at closing on a Friday so I had a trust able rental car to use that weekend), and all in all is responsible for car maintenance. I have my own tasks that I do. It works for us. I knew that I was going back to work soon, and that it would be harder to get a quote and the work done when I work until 3, so on my last day of summer break my friend Ginger offered to pack up her two kids and follow me to the tire place so that I could leave the car for a quote. When I got to the location the guy asked to go get some specs off my car, he came back a few minutes shaking his head,
"Your suspension is shot"
'What?!?!?!'
"Your back tires are messed up, your suspension is shot"
'Wouldn't I notice that? The car doesn't have /that/ many miles on it, and I don't drive crazy!'
"I'll have the guys take a look at it when it's up on the rack, but I'm telling you, it's shot"
at this point he offered to take me outside to see the cupping on my back tires. I was in shock, I knew I couldn't drive my car if the suspension was broken, this definitely was not in the amount I'd budgeted, and now I'd have to look into getting myself a rental car. We went out to my car and he had me run my hands over the back tires. Though he said that there was a bulge in the tire, I honestly felt nothing. He offered to call me in a couple hours when it was up on the rack so I could feel it. I didn't want to drag my friend and her kids all over town, so I told them that no it would be ok. If they could just run the diagnostics I'd figure out a plan from there. At this point the mechanic offered to put it on the lift now so I could feel. Awesome! It goes up, he spins the tire, feels, spins, feels, puts the car down. When I ask wasn't I supposed to feel as well the associate who'd been helping me rolled his eyes and had the tech put it back up. I felt. I felt nothing. I was told that the alignment check would take 5 minutes if I wouldn't mind waiting. I agreed and we waited, and waited, and waited. Have you ever waited 40 minutes outside, at lunch time, with a hungry 5 year old? And a hungry yourself? It wasn't fun. Finally the associate calls us inside (after conferring with the tech, the monitor, the tech, the monitor, and not us. Which made both Ginger and I go, "Either something is really bad, or nothing is wrong and they're trying to find SOMETHING to blame on me.") Inside I was told that my suspension was fine (I thought so!) but my alignment was off on a rear tire. I asked him to explain and he rolled his eyes saying, "well you said you don't really know anything about cars..." I told him that I was a college educated woman and to give it his best shot. So he gave me a quick run down (which Ginger later laughed at saying that was the version he should have given her daughter, and gave me an in depth, but still understandable version of what alignment is and how it works). When I asked for a quote to replace them he said that unless I could provide proof of every tire rotation, I am not eligible for a prorate. I was less than thrilled to hear this. At this point Ginger asked him some more questions about what was off with the alignment, did it make sense for the wear pattern we had (outside treads on both front tires were almost non existent), etc etc. After they talked for about 20 minutes she asked why he was no longer willing to honor what was told to Alex in the past. He hmmm'd and haw'd and eventually said, "Well I'm not supposed to but I guess I can prorate (which I know means he had the ability the entire time and was still trying to make this all on me). He quoted us a price, and we left (making sure we had the proof of inspection since the alignment check Alex had two months ago isn't in their computer). **After looking at the quote today ($340 with an alignment) I noticed that it says that the prorate will only be honored if I could bring in proof of every tire rotation. Even after saying he would "take care of us" he still went back on his word.
We were headed to In and Out in Union City anyways so Ginger recommended I visit her tire place on the way and get a quote. We went in, guy asked if he could look at the car, came back and started punching stuff into the computer. At this point he told me that the tires on my car weren't rated for the weight of my vehicle, and that that was why they wore down so fast. He quoted me $304 (without an alignment), and said that if I wanted to I could bring my car in every week to have them do a visual on the tires, make sure it was still safe, and if I couldn't afford all new tires they'd find someway to get SOMETHING on there that is safer than what I had. Why thank you America's tires. **After talking with a District Manager for Wheel Works, and looking up online, it turns out the tires were correct. The gentleman at America's tires accidentally wrote down the wrong number for my load index. Human error does happen, however this mix up still doesn't justify what later happened.
Needless to say at this point I was pissed (because I thought the wrong tires were on my car). After dealing with Wheel Works nonsense all morning, and then being told the wrong tires were on my car (something I felt Wheel Works should have noticed that afternoon) I was ready to go in swinging. We left my car there, got lunch, ran errands etc. While we were at my parent's house I decided to call corporate while the information was fresh in my head, they were closed. I got the, not so, bright idea that I should just call the store. They would realize their mistake, and I wouldn't have to involve corporate. So I called, and I got the same guy as earlier. Awesome. I informed him that I had been told that the wrong tires were on my car, and his immediate response was, "No".
I asked him to look in his computer what was in my car,
he clicked through, and read me some numbers and a letter.
I told him that that was not what I was told by another location was on my car.
He asked me to bring it in.
I said I didn't have it at the moment.
He said that the computer says they're right.
I pointed out that the computer also didn't have my last alignment check in it.
He pointed out that I was unable to provide proof of the alignment check (Alex is not good about getting paperwork in the filing cabinet. Love him to death, not a strong point).
I asked if he was implying I was a liar. (PLEASE REMEMBER I genuinely thought that the incorrect tires were on my car.)
We went back and forth like this for a while. One of those little arguments where neither side is willing to give and you just keep asking the same questions and making the same points over and over just in different words. I will freely admit that I was angry during this phone call, I was less patient than I would have been in other situations (by now he kept talking over me which I didn't appreciate), but I was not yelling, nor was I swearing or insulting. There was a 5 year old in the same room as me, and I did not want to say anything inappropriate or raise my voice around her. At this point the sales clerk said,
"M'am I'm sorry that your "condition" has caused you to be upset however.. " and I cut him off
'My "condition" has nothing to do with this!' (I was a bit louder at this point)
I don't know if he said, "Well you're the one who's pregnant" or "You're the one who said you're pregnant" but either way, at this point I lost it. I can't remember what I said, something along the lines of 'My "condition" has nothing to do with you guys performing terrible service. My 'condition' has nothing to do with my tires crapping out. My 'condition' has nothing to do with you guys selling my husband the incorrect tire' Have you ever been so mad that you were incapable of getting words out of your mouth that other human beings would understand? You want to scream and cry at the same time, and they both just seem to get stuck in your throat? I'd seen my mom get to this point in the past, pretty much every time she felt she was getting screwed around by a company, she would become unable to converse with them, and I would take over the phone calls (it's not a secret, she'll admit it, she hates confrontation and doesn't do well at standing up for herself to faceless strangers on the phone, so I do it for her). I had never had this happen in my life. I have been VERY mad in the past, I have had people accuse me of marrying my husband for the benefits, I have been called horrible names (especially when I worked at Mervyns. Customers thought I was a manager since I was in the office, nope!), I have had a woman curse me in Russian (no joke), but I have never been THAT mad before. I in no way shape or form want to even IMPLY that I know what it likes to be hit with a racial slur. I have been called many things, but I have never had anyone insult me based on my race (other than call me a racist for the simple fact that I am Caucasian and they weren't, so of course that was why I was disagreeing with them). But to me, this felt like something equally hurtful. I felt like I was being belittled, and should feel like less of a person simply because I was carrying human life. Like something about carrying a child made me completely void of all reason, and incapable of human interaction. I like to hope in my heart that he didn't realize that the words he said would be so hurtful, but they just made me feel like I was worthless in his eyes, because of the simple fact that I was pregnant. And don't even get me started on how hard I had to work to get in this condition! So I spent all that time, getting myself to worthless. Ginger took the phone from me, told him that he messed up big time, that I was going to corporate, his name WAS coming up, and that we were not going away quietly.
This was the story I told Steve the DM on Thursday when he called me. During the beginning part about the wear, the tires, etc. He occasionally interrupted, politely, to clarify a point or to have me check my tires (this was when we realized the guy at America's tires mis-wrote down a number) etc. He was very "manager"ish. Not wanting to place blame on them, but wanting to make sure I felt like I was being heard. He said that if it was him even without the proof he'd have offered a discount as a teaching point, and to try to keep a customer and get good word of mouth. At this point he had mentioned getting credit for 66% of the cost of the tire (since I'd used 33% approx). Things changed when I told him about the phone call. When I got to the point about "my condition" (earlier in the phone call did the whole, "I want you to see me as a human" thing that all middle management does, asked questions about me that aren't really personal but allows him to share some stories about himself. It came up that I was pregnant, he said congrats and that he had an almost 3 year old and a 5 year old at home) he stopped me mid sentence and said, "He said what? Could you please repeat that?" I told him what he said, I told him how it made me feel, and even then I couldn't keep the emotion out of my voice. I wasn't crying, I hadn't gotten any louder, but I was obviously upset. And his response was, "I am going to say something unprofessional, but I am pissed right now. If someone said that to my wife, heads would roll, and hearing that one of our associates would say that to anyone is making me.. I don't have words". I was very happy to hear that he wasn't taking this situation lightly. We talked for a little longer, he kept apologizing over and over and the 66% that was mentioned earlier was raised to 75% ("I know a tangible offering won't fix an intangible mistake, but I hope that this will at least help you realize that we are taking this seriously") It is possible that he was just mad because the sales associate opened them up to a potential law suit (not that I would over a comment made, but the point is I COULD and whether I won or not, it would have gotten them bad publicity), but the optimist in me likes to think he was upset that one human could treat another like that, and he really did, in that moment, feel how he would have felt if it was his wife whom someone had said that to. Anyways he offered to go to a retail location, run some numbers, and come back to be with a more set price. Later that evening I get a phone call saying that they don't have much on hand in my size (I have small tires, this I already knew). He gave me a few options, but asked if he could call me back the next day after he has more time to devote to checking their warehouses and distributors to find a tire he was "comfortable" recommending. (At this point he had two that he was recommending, and the ones he was leaning more towards was actually the cheaper of the two). He also told me that he wanted to make things right as best he could, and I was getting 100% credit for the retail cost we had paid for the tires (about $280). That SHOCKED me. When I first called, if the tires were incorrect I wanted free everything (since it was 100% their fault)however if they were correct I was hoping for 66% off since I did use 33%. Of course I didn't mention what I wanted, I just deferred the question with, "I don't know what is fair in this situation." so they had to throw out the first offer). I got a phone call back on Friday with a new tire recommendation, and this was the one we went with. 50,000 mile rating (and known in the industry for getting close to that. I did my own research on it as well, good ratings online). All of the specs match what my car needs (confirmed with the door sticker, and the manual). I would still be responsible for labor, gov't fees, and tax. Got the tires put in on Saturday (feel the need to point out I went to a different location to have this done). I had the alignment double checked at the new location, since I didn't trust the old one, and it turns out that I_______ need one. so all in all my grand total was _______.
I have had some people tell me that I over reacted, that he was a dumb kid and it didn't warrant a call to corporate. That I disagree with. If he had called me a bitch, manipulative, or even a liar to my face, that would have been inappropriate, but at least based on our interaction. Instead he chose to make a comment based on my genetics, that is not ok.
Another person argued that if I was ok with America's tires making a human error in telling me that my tires were incorrect, why could I have not used the same logic to forgive them for selling me wrong tires, if they had. The fact is I would have understood the human error on behalf of the original sales man, but after bringing in the car two months ago, and then now, to have that many people not notice that they were wrong would make me question their knowledge on the subject. America's tires mistake just got me madder for an incorrect reason (however it did not make the WW sales clerk make the inappropriate comment, which is what most of my "deal" is based off of), the WW mistake would have been dangerous. Had the tires been wrong we could have gotten hurt in the last year, or any time I drove the car until new tires were put on. I do not want to put myself, others, and my unborn child at risk because individuals were either not trained well enough, or were trying to cover a mistake.
Some have said that I got way too good a deal, I am almost inclined to agree. Of course I'm not going to say, "Oh but please let me pay more." But I was pleasantly shocked when I found out the final agreement (and I never disagreed with any of the previous percentages). Others feel like I should have pushed for more, a free alignment, free installation, etc. I feel like that would have simply been greedy. The fact is I did get a years worth of use out of the tires, hence why I would have been willing to not get comped that 1/3. It breaks down to under $150 for four brand new tires, even if they fell off the back of a truck you can't find a better deal than that, and while I can't put a price on my pride and the part of me that was hurt by the comment, I do feel like they did what they could to try to right a wrong. As for the alignment, an alignment check is supposed to be done every year or 15k miles, or if the car starts pulling, we were past that point, so since the check said it needed to be done, it would have needed to be done regardless, and I never considered that as a comp-able item.
While I will still never go to the Fremont location again, I feel that the DM was a pleasure to work with, and that he genuinely wanted to make the situation right, and I can at least say that management seems to have their act together. I plan on making Alex get all the rotations done at an actual WWlocation so that it is all(in theory) in their system, so I guess the next 50k miles approx will let us know how other locations fare.
Fast forward to the current.
We both knew that tires were coming up soon for us, and thanks to a little unexpected windfall Alex told me that it was time to bite the bullet and get the tires. Unfortunately we found out about this little bit of extra cash RIGHT before he had to leave for 2 weeks to somewhere he has NO cell phone signal. It may sound old fashioned, but he takes car of the car stuff. I put air in the tires occasionally if they need it and I'm at the gas station, otherwise he did the oil changes, dealt with the repair shop when the spark coil went bad (though I was the one insisting that they take it at closing on a Friday so I had a trust able rental car to use that weekend), and all in all is responsible for car maintenance. I have my own tasks that I do. It works for us. I knew that I was going back to work soon, and that it would be harder to get a quote and the work done when I work until 3, so on my last day of summer break my friend Ginger offered to pack up her two kids and follow me to the tire place so that I could leave the car for a quote. When I got to the location the guy asked to go get some specs off my car, he came back a few minutes shaking his head,
"Your suspension is shot"
'What?!?!?!'
"Your back tires are messed up, your suspension is shot"
'Wouldn't I notice that? The car doesn't have /that/ many miles on it, and I don't drive crazy!'
"I'll have the guys take a look at it when it's up on the rack, but I'm telling you, it's shot"
at this point he offered to take me outside to see the cupping on my back tires. I was in shock, I knew I couldn't drive my car if the suspension was broken, this definitely was not in the amount I'd budgeted, and now I'd have to look into getting myself a rental car. We went out to my car and he had me run my hands over the back tires. Though he said that there was a bulge in the tire, I honestly felt nothing. He offered to call me in a couple hours when it was up on the rack so I could feel it. I didn't want to drag my friend and her kids all over town, so I told them that no it would be ok. If they could just run the diagnostics I'd figure out a plan from there. At this point the mechanic offered to put it on the lift now so I could feel. Awesome! It goes up, he spins the tire, feels, spins, feels, puts the car down. When I ask wasn't I supposed to feel as well the associate who'd been helping me rolled his eyes and had the tech put it back up. I felt. I felt nothing. I was told that the alignment check would take 5 minutes if I wouldn't mind waiting. I agreed and we waited, and waited, and waited. Have you ever waited 40 minutes outside, at lunch time, with a hungry 5 year old? And a hungry yourself? It wasn't fun. Finally the associate calls us inside (after conferring with the tech, the monitor, the tech, the monitor, and not us. Which made both Ginger and I go, "Either something is really bad, or nothing is wrong and they're trying to find SOMETHING to blame on me.") Inside I was told that my suspension was fine (I thought so!) but my alignment was off on a rear tire. I asked him to explain and he rolled his eyes saying, "well you said you don't really know anything about cars..." I told him that I was a college educated woman and to give it his best shot. So he gave me a quick run down (which Ginger later laughed at saying that was the version he should have given her daughter, and gave me an in depth, but still understandable version of what alignment is and how it works). When I asked for a quote to replace them he said that unless I could provide proof of every tire rotation, I am not eligible for a prorate. I was less than thrilled to hear this. At this point Ginger asked him some more questions about what was off with the alignment, did it make sense for the wear pattern we had (outside treads on both front tires were almost non existent), etc etc. After they talked for about 20 minutes she asked why he was no longer willing to honor what was told to Alex in the past. He hmmm'd and haw'd and eventually said, "Well I'm not supposed to but I guess I can prorate (which I know means he had the ability the entire time and was still trying to make this all on me). He quoted us a price, and we left (making sure we had the proof of inspection since the alignment check Alex had two months ago isn't in their computer). **After looking at the quote today ($340 with an alignment) I noticed that it says that the prorate will only be honored if I could bring in proof of every tire rotation. Even after saying he would "take care of us" he still went back on his word.
We were headed to In and Out in Union City anyways so Ginger recommended I visit her tire place on the way and get a quote. We went in, guy asked if he could look at the car, came back and started punching stuff into the computer. At this point he told me that the tires on my car weren't rated for the weight of my vehicle, and that that was why they wore down so fast. He quoted me $304 (without an alignment), and said that if I wanted to I could bring my car in every week to have them do a visual on the tires, make sure it was still safe, and if I couldn't afford all new tires they'd find someway to get SOMETHING on there that is safer than what I had. Why thank you America's tires. **After talking with a District Manager for Wheel Works, and looking up online, it turns out the tires were correct. The gentleman at America's tires accidentally wrote down the wrong number for my load index. Human error does happen, however this mix up still doesn't justify what later happened.
Needless to say at this point I was pissed (because I thought the wrong tires were on my car). After dealing with Wheel Works nonsense all morning, and then being told the wrong tires were on my car (something I felt Wheel Works should have noticed that afternoon) I was ready to go in swinging. We left my car there, got lunch, ran errands etc. While we were at my parent's house I decided to call corporate while the information was fresh in my head, they were closed. I got the, not so, bright idea that I should just call the store. They would realize their mistake, and I wouldn't have to involve corporate. So I called, and I got the same guy as earlier. Awesome. I informed him that I had been told that the wrong tires were on my car, and his immediate response was, "No".
I asked him to look in his computer what was in my car,
he clicked through, and read me some numbers and a letter.
I told him that that was not what I was told by another location was on my car.
He asked me to bring it in.
I said I didn't have it at the moment.
He said that the computer says they're right.
I pointed out that the computer also didn't have my last alignment check in it.
He pointed out that I was unable to provide proof of the alignment check (Alex is not good about getting paperwork in the filing cabinet. Love him to death, not a strong point).
I asked if he was implying I was a liar. (PLEASE REMEMBER I genuinely thought that the incorrect tires were on my car.)
We went back and forth like this for a while. One of those little arguments where neither side is willing to give and you just keep asking the same questions and making the same points over and over just in different words. I will freely admit that I was angry during this phone call, I was less patient than I would have been in other situations (by now he kept talking over me which I didn't appreciate), but I was not yelling, nor was I swearing or insulting. There was a 5 year old in the same room as me, and I did not want to say anything inappropriate or raise my voice around her. At this point the sales clerk said,
"M'am I'm sorry that your "condition" has caused you to be upset however.. " and I cut him off
'My "condition" has nothing to do with this!' (I was a bit louder at this point)
I don't know if he said, "Well you're the one who's pregnant" or "You're the one who said you're pregnant" but either way, at this point I lost it. I can't remember what I said, something along the lines of 'My "condition" has nothing to do with you guys performing terrible service. My 'condition' has nothing to do with my tires crapping out. My 'condition' has nothing to do with you guys selling my husband the incorrect tire' Have you ever been so mad that you were incapable of getting words out of your mouth that other human beings would understand? You want to scream and cry at the same time, and they both just seem to get stuck in your throat? I'd seen my mom get to this point in the past, pretty much every time she felt she was getting screwed around by a company, she would become unable to converse with them, and I would take over the phone calls (it's not a secret, she'll admit it, she hates confrontation and doesn't do well at standing up for herself to faceless strangers on the phone, so I do it for her). I had never had this happen in my life. I have been VERY mad in the past, I have had people accuse me of marrying my husband for the benefits, I have been called horrible names (especially when I worked at Mervyns. Customers thought I was a manager since I was in the office, nope!), I have had a woman curse me in Russian (no joke), but I have never been THAT mad before. I in no way shape or form want to even IMPLY that I know what it likes to be hit with a racial slur. I have been called many things, but I have never had anyone insult me based on my race (other than call me a racist for the simple fact that I am Caucasian and they weren't, so of course that was why I was disagreeing with them). But to me, this felt like something equally hurtful. I felt like I was being belittled, and should feel like less of a person simply because I was carrying human life. Like something about carrying a child made me completely void of all reason, and incapable of human interaction. I like to hope in my heart that he didn't realize that the words he said would be so hurtful, but they just made me feel like I was worthless in his eyes, because of the simple fact that I was pregnant. And don't even get me started on how hard I had to work to get in this condition! So I spent all that time, getting myself to worthless. Ginger took the phone from me, told him that he messed up big time, that I was going to corporate, his name WAS coming up, and that we were not going away quietly.
This was the story I told Steve the DM on Thursday when he called me. During the beginning part about the wear, the tires, etc. He occasionally interrupted, politely, to clarify a point or to have me check my tires (this was when we realized the guy at America's tires mis-wrote down a number) etc. He was very "manager"ish. Not wanting to place blame on them, but wanting to make sure I felt like I was being heard. He said that if it was him even without the proof he'd have offered a discount as a teaching point, and to try to keep a customer and get good word of mouth. At this point he had mentioned getting credit for 66% of the cost of the tire (since I'd used 33% approx). Things changed when I told him about the phone call. When I got to the point about "my condition" (earlier in the phone call did the whole, "I want you to see me as a human" thing that all middle management does, asked questions about me that aren't really personal but allows him to share some stories about himself. It came up that I was pregnant, he said congrats and that he had an almost 3 year old and a 5 year old at home) he stopped me mid sentence and said, "He said what? Could you please repeat that?" I told him what he said, I told him how it made me feel, and even then I couldn't keep the emotion out of my voice. I wasn't crying, I hadn't gotten any louder, but I was obviously upset. And his response was, "I am going to say something unprofessional, but I am pissed right now. If someone said that to my wife, heads would roll, and hearing that one of our associates would say that to anyone is making me.. I don't have words". I was very happy to hear that he wasn't taking this situation lightly. We talked for a little longer, he kept apologizing over and over and the 66% that was mentioned earlier was raised to 75% ("I know a tangible offering won't fix an intangible mistake, but I hope that this will at least help you realize that we are taking this seriously") It is possible that he was just mad because the sales associate opened them up to a potential law suit (not that I would over a comment made, but the point is I COULD and whether I won or not, it would have gotten them bad publicity), but the optimist in me likes to think he was upset that one human could treat another like that, and he really did, in that moment, feel how he would have felt if it was his wife whom someone had said that to. Anyways he offered to go to a retail location, run some numbers, and come back to be with a more set price. Later that evening I get a phone call saying that they don't have much on hand in my size (I have small tires, this I already knew). He gave me a few options, but asked if he could call me back the next day after he has more time to devote to checking their warehouses and distributors to find a tire he was "comfortable" recommending. (At this point he had two that he was recommending, and the ones he was leaning more towards was actually the cheaper of the two). He also told me that he wanted to make things right as best he could, and I was getting 100% credit for the retail cost we had paid for the tires (about $280). That SHOCKED me. When I first called, if the tires were incorrect I wanted free everything (since it was 100% their fault)however if they were correct I was hoping for 66% off since I did use 33%. Of course I didn't mention what I wanted, I just deferred the question with, "I don't know what is fair in this situation." so they had to throw out the first offer). I got a phone call back on Friday with a new tire recommendation, and this was the one we went with. 50,000 mile rating (and known in the industry for getting close to that. I did my own research on it as well, good ratings online). All of the specs match what my car needs (confirmed with the door sticker, and the manual). I would still be responsible for labor, gov't fees, and tax. Got the tires put in on Saturday (feel the need to point out I went to a different location to have this done). I had the alignment double checked at the new location, since I didn't trust the old one, and it turns out that I_______ need one. so all in all my grand total was _______.
I have had some people tell me that I over reacted, that he was a dumb kid and it didn't warrant a call to corporate. That I disagree with. If he had called me a bitch, manipulative, or even a liar to my face, that would have been inappropriate, but at least based on our interaction. Instead he chose to make a comment based on my genetics, that is not ok.
Another person argued that if I was ok with America's tires making a human error in telling me that my tires were incorrect, why could I have not used the same logic to forgive them for selling me wrong tires, if they had. The fact is I would have understood the human error on behalf of the original sales man, but after bringing in the car two months ago, and then now, to have that many people not notice that they were wrong would make me question their knowledge on the subject. America's tires mistake just got me madder for an incorrect reason (however it did not make the WW sales clerk make the inappropriate comment, which is what most of my "deal" is based off of), the WW mistake would have been dangerous. Had the tires been wrong we could have gotten hurt in the last year, or any time I drove the car until new tires were put on. I do not want to put myself, others, and my unborn child at risk because individuals were either not trained well enough, or were trying to cover a mistake.
Some have said that I got way too good a deal, I am almost inclined to agree. Of course I'm not going to say, "Oh but please let me pay more." But I was pleasantly shocked when I found out the final agreement (and I never disagreed with any of the previous percentages). Others feel like I should have pushed for more, a free alignment, free installation, etc. I feel like that would have simply been greedy. The fact is I did get a years worth of use out of the tires, hence why I would have been willing to not get comped that 1/3. It breaks down to under $150 for four brand new tires, even if they fell off the back of a truck you can't find a better deal than that, and while I can't put a price on my pride and the part of me that was hurt by the comment, I do feel like they did what they could to try to right a wrong. As for the alignment, an alignment check is supposed to be done every year or 15k miles, or if the car starts pulling, we were past that point, so since the check said it needed to be done, it would have needed to be done regardless, and I never considered that as a comp-able item.
While I will still never go to the Fremont location again, I feel that the DM was a pleasure to work with, and that he genuinely wanted to make the situation right, and I can at least say that management seems to have their act together. I plan on making Alex get all the rotations done at an actual WWlocation so that it is all(in theory) in their system, so I guess the next 50k miles approx will let us know how other locations fare.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
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